Calm down, I don't like the groom, and I don't give a shit whose dick I suck

Checking to see if my wife will let me if I get her drunk (spoiler: she will 😉)

Are you trying to trick me into anal? Pfft, I'll put a cork in my ass and that's enough

Oh, well, if you have such a hard-on — give it here, I'm a doctor, I'll help!

Okay, I'll buy the $300 piece of shit, but don't forget the blowjob as a gift

Stop playing, it's time to fuck me, Warhammer can wait and I want a cumshot

What the fuck kind of gift is that? I wanted an iPhone, not a dick